A Scandal Gone Wrong
by Phoenix Dayze
Summary: Reno is sick of Zack and his stupid pranks! But the evil scheme he comes up with to get him back doesn't exactly go as planned...


A Scandal Gone Wrong

By: Jades

(Cloud/Reno, Cloud/Zack)

R

Zackary Donovan could go to hell for all he cared! He could be trampled by a queer chocobo with a blood disorder and mutilated beyond recognition. In fact, if Zack's face happened to get damaged, in _any_ freak accident, that smug smile permanently disabled, Reno most likely wouldn't care at all. No, scratch that. He _wouldn't_ care at all. Zack was a fucking pain in Reno's fucking ass, and it would be a pleasure to see the rat-bastard taken down a rung or two, or hell, a whole fucking ladder if the opportunity arose.

Throwing his cigarette to the ground, Reno stubbed it out with the toe of his boot, grinning as it died with an audible hiss. Sometimes the simple things could be pleasant too. Straightening, he tossed his flame-red hair out of his eyes and scowled. Thanks to that good-for-nothing SOLDIER, Reno couldn't go home, his apartment crawling with scientists eager to experiment with his 'cross-gendered cells'. Reno banged his fist on the brick wall of the bar he was currently haunting, if you could call it haunting when you were hiding in the alley by the trash bins. What was he supposed to do now? It was late, it was cold, and all of Reno's friends _knew_ him, which meant they'd slam the door in his face before he even had a chance to mutter the word 'hospitality'.

Not that Reno was unaccustomed to roughing it, he was, but somehow, the idea of snoozing in a freezing, stinking pile of garbage just wasn't that appealing when you were forced to do it because of some jackass seeking revenge because Reno had dropped a cordial, and expressly innocent, note to Zack's mother about his recent sexual proclivities. All in all, Reno thought that Zack was being a rather bad sport about the whole damn thing.

What happened to the good ole days? Where Zack was shorter, thinner, and less likely to beat him up if push came to shove, pardon the pun. The days where Reno always came out on top in matters that involved anything devious or dishonest? Ever since Zack had gotten those damn Mako injections he had been plain unmanageable. Now Zack was stronger, faster, and more underhanded, and Reno had a sneaking suspicion that it had more to do with the fact that Zack now had the bulk to back up his nerve, rather than actually being any smarter.

Reno let out a rough sigh as he fired up another smoke. Nothing like a good drag to chase the chill away, except maybe a bottle of Ginja and a smooth, delicate ass that he could… Reno scoffed and took another pull on his cigarette. Well _that_ wasn't happening tonight, so he might as well smoke it up. And hire someone to beat the living shit out of Zack. Only, no one _could_ beat the shit out of Zack anymore. Except maybe Sephiroth. Reno allowed himself a moment to dwell in _that_ delicious scenario, but jerked himself out of it before he had to jerk himself _off_ right here in the street where he'd been exiled.

Tapping yet another cigarette out of the pack, Reno cursed when he realized it was the last one. What the hell kinda world was this if a man couldn't even _smoke_ his blues away? He growled, closing his eyes as he inhaled deeply, wanting to make this one last, wanting to savor it for all it was worth, since he wouldn't be getting another one anytime soon, unless Leon chanced by, which wasn't likely. Although, he if did, he might get a little more out of it than a cigarette, possibly even an idea on how to extract revenge on that spiky-headed, little shit-ball. And get revenge he would. Holding the blessed smoke in his lungs, Reno let his mind float away to his happy place, a place where Zack met definitive demise by his hands in as many torturous ways as he could calculate, all of them beautifully wretched, and finely executed.

But as far as valid, potential ideas, Reno was at a loss. And that did nothing to aid his rapidly souring mood. Zack was draining him dry. How did the man come up with some many ingenious schemes so quickly? If Reno didn't know any better, he'd think that Zack was cheating, probing his friends for ideas.

A wicked smile curved up on Reno's lips. That was it, the answer he had been looking for. He had played nice long enough. It was time to fuck with Zack in a whole new way. Reno let his mind wander over potential candidates, surfing through the miscellaneous faces he'd seen in connection with Zack. There were quite a few to choose from, several of who would be prime for this sort of scandal. Then he paused, who was that little blond runt Zack was always obsessing over? The effeminate one with the hair? He had some sort of pansy nature name. Leaf, or rainbow, or something stupid like that. Or was it Storm? Reno snapped his fingers. Cloud! That was it! Cloud Strife! Yes, he was perfect! He was quite, unassuming, and kept mostly to himself, which meant that Reno could spread any rumors he liked and 1) there would be no grounds for disbelief, and 2) more than likely, Cloud would never find out a thing about it.

Reno applauded himself on his intelligence and headed off towards the SOLDIER Cadet Housing Block, careful to take the back roads and to stay in the shadows just in case anyone was scouting for him, which, since Zack had started this mess, they probably were. But lucky for him, Zack was a blabbermouth, and Reno knew everything about where Cloud lived, right down to the contraband, blue silk sheets that Cloud had on his bed.

Yes, this was a brilliant plan, Reno thought smugly as he pounded, none too considerately, on Cloud's door. Not only would he give Zack the headache of his life, but Reno would also have a place to crash tonight. And that, with or without Cloud's acquiescence, was a beautiful thing indeed.

Cloud stumbled out of bed, a sleep-addled expression on his face. He nearly tripped over the sofa on his way to the door, his eyes refusing to focus. It took him several tries to undo the chain, and by the time he finally wrenched the door open to kill whatever was making that god-awful racket, he had given in to the rare impulse to curse, weary aggravation lining his body. He half-expected to see Zack, so the image of Reno, leaning casually on his doorframe with a lazy smile had him scowling instantly as he was forced to do a mental double take.

"Ya know," Reno said off-handedly, "a pretty, little thing like you shouldn't swear. Ruins the image."

Cloud shook his head, disgruntled, and more than a little confused. He opened his mouth to ask Reno what the hell he was doing here, or maybe insult him somehow for the comment he'd just made, but before Cloud could utter a word, Reno was pushing past him into his apartment with little more than a, "Also, get a doorbell, yo, it's easier on my hand." 

Cloud stared helplessly after Reno as the red-haired Turk plopped down on his sofa, his large, booted feet going right up on the coffee table. He pushed the door slowly closed, a tiny knit between his brows. "Umm, Reno?" The man had already helped himself to an apple from a delicate bowl sitting far too close to his feet and was munching happily. Cloud swallowed. Why was _he_ always the one who had to deal with these kinds of things? What happened to the laws of karma? Looking at Reno, Cloud could only assume that karma must have been invented by a Turk seeking a handout. He cleared his throat, hoping to get the man's attention.

Reno peered up at him out of the corner of one green eye. "You got a nice place here, Strife." He said between bites. "I really appreciate you letting me stay here for a while, what with my pace being out of commission and all."

Cloud blinked. "What do you mean stay here?" A mild knot of tension took up residence in his skull as Reno's words slowly took shape.

"What'd'ya mean what do I mean?" Reno asked, wearing a mask of confused innocence. "Didn't Zack call you?"

"Call me about what?"

Reno shook his head. "Damn that boy's thoughtless." He gave Cloud an apologetic look. "Zack was supposed to tell you about my place being raided and ask you if I could stay here for a few days. He would have let me crash at his place, but he's expecting his ma any day, and the last thing she needs to see is _my_ sorry ass hanging outta her son's bed."

Cloud rubbed a hand over his forehead. He was starting to get a migraine. "No, Reno, Zack didn't call." He said, trying to catch up on the conversation. "I'm really sorry about your house, and after what you said in that letter, I wouldn't wanna be on the same block as Zack's mother."

Reno chewed on his bottom lip. "So you didn't know I was coming then?"

"No." 

"Well that's a bitch." Reno threw out. He jumped to his feet, and stretched extravagantly. "Well," he said, walking over to stand next to Cloud. "Sorry for the invasion. Next time I'll have to hold a gun to Zack's head to make sure he keeps his promises." He clapped a hand on Cloud's shoulder. "Get back to bed, kiddo, I'll find somewhere else to stay." He heaved the door halfway open, and his face split with a triumphant Reno grin when Cloud called after him. He turned to look at Cloud, his face a perfect mask of innocent expectancy.

Cloud let out a heavy sigh. "It's okay." He assured him. "You can stay."

"Really?" Reno bounded back in with a grin when Cloud nodded, slamming the door behind him. He stuck an uninvited hand into Cloud's hair and ruffled madly. "Thanks, pal."

Cloud shoved Reno's hand away, a flush of annoyance on his cheeks. "I'll fix up the couch for you."

"Don't bother; I'm straight."

Cloud took a step back, a look of abject worry on his face. "Reno, I'm not…"

"What?" Reno interrupted. "A crazy, man-humpin' sex fiend?"

A furious blush colored Cloud's cheeks, and he quickly averted his eyes—the floor was interesting—panic gleaming in the blue.

"Aw!" Reno cried, obvious joy coating his tone as he clasped his hands together merrily. "Look at that, you _are!_" That is just so adorable!" Reno leaned closer as if sharing a secret. "Does Zack know?"

Cloud let out a pained whimper.

Reno smiled and ruffled Cloud's hair again, the blond standing out starkly against the redness of his face. "Don't worry." Reno whispered. "I won't tell."

Cloud licked his lips, summoning up some semblance of courage. "Reno?"

Reno laughed. "Don't fret, you little two-bit fairy!" He said humorously. "The couch will be fine."

Cloud watched in silence as Reno settled himself down on his sofa. What had just happened? If Cloud wasn't so sure that he was sound asleep and dreaming right now, he'd feel certain that Reno, in the space of a few minutes, had talked himself into an invite and gotten Cloud to come out of his compulsive little closet. Pretty good for a night's work. But obviously, Cloud _was_ dreaming, so he had nothing to worry about. He turned and went back to bed, happy in the very secure knowledge that when he woke up, everything would be as it should be. Reno would be nowhere in sight, Cloud's secret would be safe, and Zack wouldn't have to make a sudden, uncensored appearance at the top of Cloud's hit list. 

Cloud sighed contentedly in his sleep. Something warm and soft was nuzzling up against his body, and pleasant tingles of arousal were slowly beginning to stretch and stir. Cloud did the same, wriggling around lazily until his hand came to rest on a very real, very naked ass. Waking fully, Cloud shrieked and tumbled from the bed, scrambling back against the bedroom wall.

Reno sat upright with a start, peering around in confusion, trying to decipher what had woken his from his comfortable dreams where he snuggled, none too innocently, with a small blond cadet with permanently pink cheeks, while Zack looked on from his cage and snarled. His eyes fell on Cloud, cowered in the corner as though even sitting next to Reno would damage his impeccable virtue. Reno grinned. "Mornin', sweet cheeks!"

Cloud made a strangled protesting sound, and glared over his blush, his eyes yelling daggers at Reno's head.

Reno gave an amused chuckle. "Donovan was right. You are _precious_ when you scowl like that!"

Cloud's chest heaved, and his lips came together in an even firmer line.

Reno climbed out of the bed, and Cloud's eyes widened at the man's too obvious nudity. His body flared with a new burst of red, and he looked away, certain that if he just ignored him, then Reno wouldn't come any closer.

He was wrong. Reno pulled up next to him, peering down with a mixture of amused fascination and contemplative purpose. Then, without warning, he leaned down and scooped Cloud up into his arms. 

All of Cloud's breath left him with a squeal of adamant terror that would have made Sephiroth grimly satisfied. He struggled to no avail, Reno was thin, but he was wiry and strong, and Cloud found himself pinned to the bed beneath a living smirk with red hair. 

Reno shook his head and clucked. "What's the matter, kitten? Are we feeling a little frisky this morning?"

Cloud was about to scream, when a knock at his front door had them both distracted. Cloud quickly rolled out from under his pseudo-invited roommate, grabbed a shirt, and fled, yanking the concealing article over his head as he went.

When Cloud opened the door he was flushed and disheveled, and his eyes darted back and forth worriedly from the bedroom to Zack, who was standing on his doorstep looking…intrigued, and a little worried.

Zack gave Cloud a searching look, not really quite sure what this foreign quality that had possessed his friend was, a small furrow between his brows. "Cloud, is uh…is this a bad time?"

"Zack," Cloud spit out, finally finding his ability to speak. "What are you…I mean why…" his cheeks stung. "Did you want something?" He ended with a soft squeak.

"I wanted to take you somewhere." Zack said curiously. "If you've a mind to go."

Just as Cloud was opening his mouth to reply, Reno sauntered out of Cloud's bedroom, the coveted, contraband sheet covering his obviously naked form. He strolled over to Cloud and, letting the sheet slide suggestively low, he slung a friendly arm around the Cloud's shoulder. "Donovan," he purred, directing his drawling words at Zack as he settled himself far too closely to Cloud's side, "you got any smokes?

Zack's expression went from confused, to hurt, to angry in the span of a second. He glared at Cloud, who was shifting nervously on his feet, eyes on the floor. "What is _he_ doing here?" He growled with clear menace.

Cloud swallowed thickly and wished fervently to disappear. "I, umm…I invited him." He said lowly.

Reno grinned smugly, tilting his body ever so slightly towards Cloud. "Yeah, he invited me. And I have to admit, the timing was perfect." He fixed Zack with a firm glare. "Considering."

Zack gave him a disparaging look, and Reno stuck out his tongue in response. Reno let his fingers reach up and card through tousled blond spikes, while Cloud stood there growing redder by the second and prayed for quick death while he still had some shred of dignity left to his name.

Zack stared hard at Cloud for a minute, then gave what seemed to want to be an indifferent shrug, but it didn't quite make it. "Well, since you're…busy," there was a strange tone to Zack's voice, "I can come back."

"No!" Cloud said suddenly, desperation forcing him to take a stand. "I can go!" He gave Zack his best 'save me' expression. _Please, don't leave me here!_ "Just give me a couple minutes to get dressed. He quickly excused himself, and shut himself into his bedroom, leaving Zack, Reno, and the sheet alone in his living room.

All attempts at civility fell away. Zack's body was charged with barely restrained fury. "All right, Sinclair, what the fuck are you doing here?"

"We told you." Reno replied smoothly. "He invited me."

"Don't give me that shit, you insensitive bastard!" Zack growled. "What are you really doing here?"

Reno gave him a calculating look. "What are _you_ really doing here?" He gave a soft scoff. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think the great big SOLDIER had dishonorable intentions towards my little Cloudling."

Zack's eyes narrowed dangerously. "That's none of your concern." He said coldly.

Reno shrugged, the sheet shifting against his skin. "If you say so." He gave Zack a meditating look. "Well, if things go well for you on your little outing, you should probably know that he's a little skittish at first, but once you tame that blush of his, _he'll_ tame _you_." Reno laughed inwardly at the severe ire on Zack's face, at his hands which clenched tighter and tighter. He might get decked any second, but it would be worth it. Reno, in his great wisdom, decided to take it a step further. "Yep," he said nodding appreciatively. "All in all, the kid's a pretty good bedmate. If the SOLDIER thing doesn't work out for him, he could always make a living at the Honeybee."

The only thing that saved Reno from a horrible death was Cloud's return. He shrugged past Reno without even glancing his way. A tinge of worry curled through him at the crazed expression in Zack's eyes. He put a gentle hand on the man's arm. "Zack? Shall we go?"

Snapping out of his fog of murderous rage, Zack choked it all back and forced a smile. "If you're ready." He held his arm out, guiding Cloud to the door.

Before Cloud could escape, Reno came up behind him, turning Cloud's head to face him with the tip of one finger. Smiling slyly, he sank his hand into Cloud's hair and tugged the boy to him, giving him a deep, hungry kiss. His tongue silenced what would have been shock, tasting the boy freely. He let his lips linger softly against Cloud's as he slowly pulled away. With a happy sigh, Reno ran a loving hand down Cloud's face. "Later, kitten." He promised.

Zack sputtered and twitched, his extensive SOLDIER training giving him no leads as to handle this situation. He looked to Cloud for some sort of clue as to what he should be thinking, whether he should kill Reno for taking advantage, or whether he should kill Reno for not having to. But Cloud was frozen, his eyes wide, and his face blazing.

Taking the initiative, Reno shoved both men out of the door and closed it behind them with a cheerful "You kids have fun now."

After a few minutes of silence, Zack looked down at Cloud, who looked like he might cry any second. He let out a confused sigh, running a hand through his dark hair. "Hey, Cloud?"

Cloud made a noncommittal sound.

"What just happened?"

Cloud turned anguished blue eyes up to meet Zack's gaze. "We got played." He said lowly. "Maybe you shouldn't have gone as far as you did, Zack. Your little revenge schemes are starting to have severe ramifications on me."

"What ramifications?" Zack asked innocently. "Don't worry so much, Cloudy. You're doing great. Just keep it up and he'll be putty in our hands."

"But I don't want him to be putty in my hands!" Cloud said sharply. "I want my house back! He's too unpredictable." Cloud said, shaking his head. "I don't wanna play anymore."

"Define unpredictable." Zack said, waiting expectantly.

"He was naked in my bed."

"Were you in it with him?"

Cloud's eyes widened at the ghastly terror Zack had suggested. "Not for long! But, Zack, I had to _see_!"

Zack cringed. "Ouch."

Cloud's voice took on a pathetic tone. "He called me kitten."

Zack reached over and ruffled Cloud's hair. "Well, he might have a point with that one."

"He _kissed_ me!" Cloud stated emphatically. "No one kisses me!"

A little of the rage that Zack had bottled up leaked back out to the surface and his jaw clenched painfully. "I know. Don't worry; he'll pay for that. Badly, I assure you." Then, trying to make light of his own inner turmoil, he focused back on Cloud. "Look, Cloud, I'm really sorry you got kissed by a guy, especially one like Reno. How can I make it up to you?"

A small grin tugged at the corners of Cloud's mouth. Maybe, just maybe, he could actually use this ridiculous situation to his own benefit. "Hey, Zack," he said tauntingly, "want to know a secret?"

The mouth grazing Cloud's skin moved a little too enthusiastically. In retrospect, it might have been smarted not to tell Zack that he was, as Reno put it, a 'crazy, man-humpin' sex fiend'. Except he'd never humped any men, never even came close. In fact, if you were to set up a kissing counter, if you included Reno, the little arrow would bounce up to an astounding three. And now, with his shirt stripped off of him by large, capable hands, and Zack lying half on top of him, with that hot, _insistent_ tongue, Cloud was forced to admit to himself that he truly was an innocent. And perhaps a bit naïve as well.

When he'd come out to Zack, it had seemed like a good idea. With the madness that was going on, Cloud had thought to use the perfect set-up to finally come clean, to admit to Zack that he was gay, and hope that no serious problems would arise in their friendship because of it. Well, depending on your perspective, the situation Cloud found himself in was pretty serious, and _something_ had definitely arisen and was pressing suggestively against his leg.

If Cloud had known that Zack was as queer as _he_ was, he might have reevaluated his decision to let the man in on his dark little transgression. But how was Cloud supposed to know that Zack had been lusting after him since the day he'd stepped through the door? And how could Cloud have predicted that Zack would interpret his stammered confession to gaydom, as a confession of similar nature, as an invitation?

When he'd woken up this morning next to Reno… Mild panic… He never would have dreamed that he'd end up sprawled across Zack's bed, with the man's hard, muscled body pressing into him. Never would have pictured the mouth that careened over his flesh, making him shiver, the knowing hands that touched and loved and were so very gentle as they pulled Cloud steadily through all the various heights that he hadn't yet experienced.

On the other hand, as Zack slid slowly into him, filling him with the solid weight of his love, his devotion, as he whispered his hopes and dreams into Cloud's ear, as he slowly brought them to a beautiful, shuddering release, it occurred to Cloud that maybe telling Zack _had_ been a pretty good idea after all.

Reno's boots echoed off the pavement as he walked. He wore a scowl laced around his mouth. _Where are those fucking degenerate lovebirds?_ Cloud and Zack should have returned hours ago. Reno's plan had been going well, exceedingly well. Cloud was putty in his hands that he could mold and shape however he wanted, and Zack's jealousy was keeping him on a very short leash.

But they should have been back by now. Reno checked his watch again with a growl of annoyance. He had given up on waiting. As grateful as he was to have a roof over his head, the idea of lazing around Cloud's apartment all day just wasn't that appealing; there wasn't that much to do there, especially when his blond-haired host was out playing emotional tag with his commanding officer.

Reno wasn't sure where the pair might have gone, so he checked a few of the local bars that might not have had Cloud so mortified that he would melt into his ShinRa issue boots, but after a few stops with no luck, Reno gave it up and decided to swing by Zack's place, just in case they had stopped _there_ for drinks in order to save Cloud the stress.

In the years following, Reno would often find himself wishing that he'd never knocked on Zack's door, sometimes hoping that that damned queer chocobo would look his way. But he had knocked, and after a minute or so of scuffling and whispering, mixed with a few laughs and one very decisive yelp, Zack had pulled open the door, looking every bit the satisfied predator that he was. He had a familiar looking shirt clutched over the important bits of his anatomy. Reno tried desperately not to look.

Zack blinked, his dark rings of midnight violet taking Reno in with flash of recognition. "Oh, hey." He said, running a hand through his dramatically ruffled hair. "I forgot all about you."

"Did you now?" Reno asked caustically. "That's very nice, Donovan, predictable of you. I just came here looking for my blushing, frisky kitten roommate. You didn't lose him somewhere did you? Or make him keel over from embarrassment?"

"Yeah…" A slow grin spread across Zack's face. "About that…" He glanced towards the bedroom, then back at Reno, eyes shining with gratitude. "Thank you so much!"

Reno's typical grin faltered. "What for?" He asked carefully.

Just then, the bedroom door opened and Cloud walked out, naked as the day he was born, a look of pure wickedness crowning his delicate features. With a growl and what sounded remarkably like a yip, he ran and launched himself at Zack's back, his legs wrapping around the man's waist as his mouth went straight down to gnaw at Zack's neck.

Zack groaned and gave Reno a shit eating, albeit slightly distracted grin. "You were right, Reno." He said huskily. "He's a little shy at first, but once you get him going…" He turned his eyes over his shoulder at the no longer innocent coil of sexually charged male on his back. "Once you get him going he's an absolute demon!"

Ignoring Reno's presence, Zack dropped his last shred of decency, flipped the young man off his back and tossed him to the floor, instantly pouncing on him, their bodies flush together as he pinned him. He looked up at Reno after a second, a gruff arousal coating his voice. "Shut the door on the way out, will you, dude? I think I won this round." He stared down at Cloud, who was flushed, needy and demanding beneath him, his small hands exploring Zack's body with a boldness no one would have believed. "Yes," Zack gasped as his body gave a long, hard tremble. "Game over."

As Zack wrapped his hand around Cloud's excited length, Cloud tipped his head back, staring at Reno through lust-fogged eyes. "How's this for 'sex fiend'?" He asked darkly.

This time, it was Reno Sinclair, mighty Turk and king of revenge, who turned a speechless, furious red.


End file.
